We are celebrating my birthday this weekend since our eldest daughter is in town, and we do not have the pressures of work and school.
So, my goal for this morning (Sunday) was to arise, roll out the GT, drive my wife to Dunkin Donuts and get her coffee.
I arose...but Taylor (15) also arose, confused as to which day it was.
This was to be a laid back Sunday; bad enough that the humidity was already 85%.
I rolled out the GT, but then wondered if Taylor might not enjoy the ride more than my wife.
However, Taylor would not leave home without makeup. My wife would not leave home without makeup.
I began to consider the same.
An hour later as we began to depart, my wife mentioned that she was going to drive the GT.
My left arm went numb.
She, after making a series of silly faces, got into the car, found a position where she could reach the pedals (barely), giggled three times, fiddled with the ignition, mirrors, windows and wrinkled her nose twice.
She fired it up and jumped, somehow startled by the sound.
We left the driveway at 42 miles an hour, got to the intersection (distance of 50 yards) as she over-revved to get out onto the road.
Her explanation? She did not want to be hit by someone driving too fast.
Squirrels cleared the road. I now had jaw pain and substernal crushing chest pain.
She proceeded up the road, SpongeBob expression on her face, but as we approached the second intersection (a 4-way stop), I noted:
a. She seemed confused as to when she planned to brake or downshift and now had suspended all such activities while she dangled two or more of her feet in the air.
b. At the intersection she over-revved and went into the opposing lane... briefly.
c. I became short of breath.
At the next intersection, I noted that she was wearing fashionable sandals which were not consistently staying on her feet. It did not matter because, she then "thought I was in first gear", launched from the stop sign in third and made a 10' shift into 4th.
I believe she would have headed to 6th gear but, as fate would have it, we were now in the middle of the intersection...stalled.
People wanted to see the GT, apparently unaware that they did not need to crush us before seeing it.
My wife did better (I did not) by the time she got to the main road. My life had passed before me, and it was a very uninteresting short film, more like an infomercial.
I noted that two cars back was a truck which was attempting to cross the double yellow line to see the GT. He was apparently crowded out by an SUV with a couple who appeared to want us to pull over so they could take a look.
I withheld this information from my wife; she would want to wave.
We pulled into Dunkin Donut parking lot whereupon she characterized the entire experience as "that was fun."
I was in acute-Ativan insufficiency.
(photo in gallery)
So, my goal for this morning (Sunday) was to arise, roll out the GT, drive my wife to Dunkin Donuts and get her coffee.
I arose...but Taylor (15) also arose, confused as to which day it was.
This was to be a laid back Sunday; bad enough that the humidity was already 85%.
I rolled out the GT, but then wondered if Taylor might not enjoy the ride more than my wife.
However, Taylor would not leave home without makeup. My wife would not leave home without makeup.
I began to consider the same.
An hour later as we began to depart, my wife mentioned that she was going to drive the GT.
My left arm went numb.
She, after making a series of silly faces, got into the car, found a position where she could reach the pedals (barely), giggled three times, fiddled with the ignition, mirrors, windows and wrinkled her nose twice.
She fired it up and jumped, somehow startled by the sound.
We left the driveway at 42 miles an hour, got to the intersection (distance of 50 yards) as she over-revved to get out onto the road.
Her explanation? She did not want to be hit by someone driving too fast.
Squirrels cleared the road. I now had jaw pain and substernal crushing chest pain.
She proceeded up the road, SpongeBob expression on her face, but as we approached the second intersection (a 4-way stop), I noted:
a. She seemed confused as to when she planned to brake or downshift and now had suspended all such activities while she dangled two or more of her feet in the air.
b. At the intersection she over-revved and went into the opposing lane... briefly.
c. I became short of breath.
At the next intersection, I noted that she was wearing fashionable sandals which were not consistently staying on her feet. It did not matter because, she then "thought I was in first gear", launched from the stop sign in third and made a 10' shift into 4th.
I believe she would have headed to 6th gear but, as fate would have it, we were now in the middle of the intersection...stalled.
People wanted to see the GT, apparently unaware that they did not need to crush us before seeing it.
My wife did better (I did not) by the time she got to the main road. My life had passed before me, and it was a very uninteresting short film, more like an infomercial.
I noted that two cars back was a truck which was attempting to cross the double yellow line to see the GT. He was apparently crowded out by an SUV with a couple who appeared to want us to pull over so they could take a look.
I withheld this information from my wife; she would want to wave.
We pulled into Dunkin Donut parking lot whereupon she characterized the entire experience as "that was fun."
I was in acute-Ativan insufficiency.
(photo in gallery)
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