The Surgery


RALPHIE

GT Owner
Mar 1, 2007
7,278
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed
remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."
 
:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl:rofl :thumbsup
 
Very good Ralphie!!!!
 
Reminds me of a true story…

A friend of mine used to work for the NSA. English wasn’t his first language, so sometimes he got his words mixed up. Fortunately he was a software engineer and not a translator.

Being curious about the NSA, I asked him what it was like to work for them. I assumed security at the building was tight, and he said it was. He then went on to describe a new security feature they installed just before he left the agency. The conversation went something like this…

Friend:
Just before I left, they installed rectal scanners at all the doors.

Me:
“Rectal" scanners? Really? What were they like?

Friend:
I didn’t like them, but some people seemed to really like them. They would use them over and over just for fun. They were never mounted at the right height and you sometimes had to bend way over to use them. They weren’t very sanitary either; most people didn’t wipe them off after using them, but I always did. If it was cold outside you could sometimes stick to the metal and it would hurt….


He went on for quite a while. It was all I could do to keep a straight face.