Laughter


Nardo GT

Nardo GT

Well-known member
Jul 15, 2006
2,300
Texas
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Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


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Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


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Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


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Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


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Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


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Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


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EVER WONDER ..

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
 
:lol:rofl:lol:rofl :thumbsup
 
here is some more:

why do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway.

why is a "close call" a near miss, shouldnt be a near hit. An accident is a near miss
 
Why do they have Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
 
Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
 
:lol:thumbsup
 
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they should already know you don't have?
 
>
> Subject: Fw: Today's Laugh
>
>
>
> Welfare
> A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He
> marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE
> drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'
>
> The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent.
> We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
> chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
> You'll have to
> drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he'll supply all of your
> clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. 'You'll
> also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
> This is rather awkward to say, but you'll also have as part of your job
> assignment satisfying her sexual urges as the daughter is in her
> mid-20's and has a rather str ong sex drive. 'A two-bedroom
> loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc., located above
> the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is
> $200,000 a year.'
>
> The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullshittin' me!'
>
> The social worker said, 'Yeah, well... you started it.'
>
>
>
 
Prowler said:
>
> Subject: Fw: Today's Laugh
>
>
>
> Welfare
> A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He
> marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE
> drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.'
>
> The social worker behind the counter said, 'Your timing is excellent.
> We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
> chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
> You'll have to
> drive around in his 2008 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he'll supply all of your
> clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. 'You'll
> also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.
> This is rather awkward to say, but you'll also have as part of your job
> assignment satisfying her sexual urges as the daughter is in her
> mid-20's and has a rather str ong sex drive. 'A two-bedroom
> loft type apartment with plasma TV, stereo, bar, etc., located above
> the garage, will be designated for your sole use and the salary is
> $200,000 a year.'
>
> The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, 'You're bullshittin' me!'
>
> The social worker said, 'Yeah, well... you started it.'
>
>
>
Click to expand...



thanks for making my afternoon:rofl:rofl:rofl
 
Soroush:

If you become a post ho, you can get to 1000 posts before Turkey day.
 
cmoody32 said:
Soroush:

If you become a post ho, you can get to 1000 posts before Turkey day.
Click to expand...

what
 
are
 
you
 
talking
 
about
 
chris?
 
:biggrin
 
I can get there today!
 
post whores.... :)
happy thanksgiving ladies :)
 
B O N Y said:
post whores.... :)
happy thanksgiving ladies :)
Click to expand...

:biggrin chris started, happy thanks giving to you too.:cheers
 
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